If you think bouncy castles are just for kids, think again: this giant inflatable has even put Scottish internationals through their paces.
The latest attraction at Conifox Adventure Park is now officially the longest inflatable obstacle course in the world with an incredible length of 568.10 meters.
Called the Tartan Titan, it breaks the previous record held by a theme park in Belgium by 72.2 meters.
And was certainly grueling enough to get international goalkeeper Craig Gordon’s blood pumping with Scottish rugby player Jamie Ritchie.
Hearts No1 Craig – who will face Hibs this Sunday in the first Edinburgh derby of the season – jokes: “It was definitely different from my normal training – but it was actually really good for agility work.
“I think we should bring the whole team over to try it out. I’m sure they would like to go around the course.
“There are a few tough parts, but I managed to get through that unscathed, so I’m happy with that, especially with Sunday coming up.”
The 39-year-old adds: “But there is stuff for all ages and you can choose the difficult parts or choose an easier route instead – it’s very nice.”
Guinness World Records arbiter Glenn Pollard has given the giant attraction – which is kept inflated by more than 50 whirring air pumps – an official stamp of approval.
He says: “The previous record for the longest inflatable obstacle course in the world was set in Belgium in 2017 at 495.52 meters.
“So at 568.10 meters it beats Belgium by a considerable distance.
“I officiated by receiving the plans from the builders which were then rechecked by an architect.
“I met the architect on site today who then physically measured the structure to ensure it was the advertised size and was perfect and witnessed all of this.
“So it’s an accurate measurement and it means Scotland still have a new world record.”
The huge inflatable was the brainchild of Conifox Adventure Park owner James Gammell.
He said: “I wanted to make it the biggest so it would be the best in the world.
“Even though most people think of inflatables for kids, it actually gives you a good workout.
“We will also be running adult-only days for those who are very keen to try and set their own records.
“But the important thing is that the whole family does it together. If it gets a little too steep or tricky, younger kids can always slide down and hike up to the next section.
Scottish Liberal Democrat leader Alex Cole-Hamilton also took the course.
However, he thinks it would make the ideal decision maker in the Tory leadership race which is really starting to drag its feet.
He says, “It was one of the most exhilarating evenings I’ve had in a long time.
“But I actually think the Tory leadership race might be a little more fun if we saw Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak go head-to-head on this course.
“That would definitely make it more interesting for the rest of us who have to watch it.”
Alex – who is the Park Constituency MSP for Edinburgh Western – also had a serious point to make.
He adds: “During the pandemic, soft play and children’s play parks have been forgotten by both governments. It’s nice to see Conifox reinventing itself to keep people coming back.
“It’s great to see a company like this bounce back in style by also setting a new world record.”
So what does the Tartan Titan really look like?
Well, imagine Total Wipeout and Gladiators – Google the kids – rolled into one and you’re pretty close.
The organizers advise you to wear gym clothes, but since I haven’t been to a gym since the 80s, my headband looked a bit dated.
But you better be prepared for a proper workout, as there are over 50 obstacles to overcome, ranging from pee easy to you must be kidding?
There were slippery slopes to try and run – the only person to complete the hardest was the apparently 9-foot-tall Craig Gordon – and giant balls to try and bounce.
Meanwhile, there was also Meltdown – two huge, high-speed spinning beams trying to get your feet under you to hit you on the napper.
The special Titan grip socks you get would probably work best when dry, but sometimes it felt like a splash zone thanks to Scottish ‘summer’.
This is something the organizers don’t warn you about, so bring a towel – and dry underwear too.
Oh and long sleeves and joggers are also advised or you’ll end up with friction burns like me.
And you’re going to feel every one of those 568 meters as you climb, crawl, clamber, bounce and tumble toward the finish line.
But it’s really great fun and yes you can do it with the family as James and Craig say – as long as the kids are over 1.2m tall.
I’ve seen plenty of parents skip the really tough parts when it was too much for their little ones – heck, I’ve even been tempted to skip a few myself.
And then you can even enjoy a well-deserved pint in the park’s gastropub, The Fetching Fox.
But like a big kid, I immediately went to bed at home because after half a mile of ups and downs, jumps and falls, I was turned off like a light.
*For more information and to book tickets, visit conifox.merlintickets.co.uk